The art of not giving a fuck

After thousands of years of our civilisation being obsessed by white European males writing poetry and filling museums with paintings and sculpture, there’s the Art of not Giving a Fuck. More glorious than drawing a realistic Madonna and Child, harder to achieve than a perfect Shakespearan sonnet. Trust me. I’m writing the dudes who decide on the Nobel Prices after I finish this. Oh wait. I don’t give a fuck about them.

Everyone’s path to the mastery of Not Giving a Fuck is a different one of course. It’s not like we have an official program or there’s some kind of Fine-Fucks-Art School you can go to. I once started reading Sarah Knight’s book on The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k but then I stopped caring about what she wrote as well. I’ll give you some pointers on how to get going. But I don’t blame you if you stop giving a fuck about this blog post halfway through.

You could stop giving a fuck about whether your pubes are shaved according to the latest trend. About having a job that will impress your future parents-in-law. About actually ever having parents-in-law. About feeling the need to say “oh no I really shouldn’t” while you actually want to have that piece of chocolate cake. Just have the damn cake. You shouldn’t bother about whatever song's in the top 40 right now. It probably sucks and it’s all produced by the same Swedish guy anyway. Don’t spend time caring about whether the number of people you had sex with is too high by society's standards. That’s time wasted you could spend getting laid. Stop giving a damn about “going forward” with your life. Don’t spend energy in childhood friends you stopped liking ages ago. Stop giving a fuck about being an adult. Truth is, adults don’t even want to be adults.

The greatest thing about mastering the Art of Not Giving a Fuck is that it allows you to care more about stuff that’s actually worth it. You should be careful with the fucks you give. That’s actually what your mom meant when she told you you shouldn’t be giving it away. And you thought she was talking about your virginity? You dirty mind. The moment you stop giving a fuck about things that aren’t worth your time, wearing matching socks for example, you’ll feel that you now have more space to breathe and to care about stuff that is important to you. If you need some extra help, it might help to throw your hands a little in the air while you do that. There’s some physical exercise for you. Although you’re not obliged to give a fuck about sports either.

Once you eliminate stuff that’s just too damn silly from your daily life you can start giving fucks about things that actually matter. About whether your money goes to a small business owner rather than a multinational. About wearing clothes that aren't made thanks to child slavery.  About Jess' return in the Gilmore Girls’ reunion show. About the guy who called me “honey” on the street today without me asking for that and the fact that he has a lot more where that’s coming from. About Kim Gordon’s first solo single. About spending time with your friends, even if they are whining about wanting to have some cheese while you are busy writing a blog post.

So there you go. Stop draining all your energy by throwing useless fucks around and go to a good concert instead. Maybe your mastery of the art will get you in the Guggenheim one day. Although to be honoust, I don't really give a fuck.