Don't ask me why I don't have a boyfriend yet

Aaah January. That month where you’re guilt-trapped into visiting every member of your family – even if you have nothing in common with them and many years have passed since that moment when it was still ok to ask them what they do for a living. One thing you know that’s going to happen when you’re trapped in a room full of relatives is the question: “So do you have a boyfriend yet?”

I hate that question. Not that I mind asking people about my love life, not at all, but what’s up with that word “yet”? I feel that it implies that I’m working towards this goal and at the moment I’m not there yet. And for that I need to feel sad. That me being single now is a state that’s just temporarily and I need to work towards reaching the next, more fulfilling one. Like I’m unemployed and I’m looking for a job. Or I’m sick and I need to take a cure.

However charming Tom Cruise sounded when he said it to Renee Zellweger: I don’t need someone to complete me. I honestly believe that people put too many pressure on the whole boyfriend/girlfriend-factor in a life. Your boyfriend should be a dazzling amount of things: he is supposed to be your lover, your best friend, your partner and support, the person you raise a family with, to laugh with, the fixer of your tv when it breaks, the one you bring home to your family so you can avoid the old dreadful question,… Isn’t that like, way too many expectations for just one person?  It’s like hiring a plumber to fix your shower and also expecting him to paint your bedroom, pick out your outfit and read your palm for your future.

I don’t see why my single state now is perceived as being-between-boyfriends. Cause sure, nobody really believes that romantic relationships last forever and ever, do they? You might be very annoyingly happy right now, but the chances that you're going to grow apart are humongous. And that's ok. Still, when you’re actually with someone, nobody sees it as being-between-two-periods-of-being-single. So what about making a deal? You don’t ask me why I don’t have a boyfriend yet, and I won’t ask when you and your partner are going to break up.